…(500) Days of Summer. At some point during this week, I have got to write about this movie. Might as well be now.
!!SPOILER ALERT!!
If you have not yet seen, but wish to see the movie (500) Days of Summer, please refrain from reading the main body of this post.
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!
The other day, I finally got to see (500) Days of Summer, and I thought to myself at several times during the movie. These thoughts I was thinking were all along the lines of, “Wow. I’ve been through that myself.” I really felt sympathetic with the Tom character. Tom is in love with Summer. Summer “just wants to be friends” with Tom, despite doing things together that fall outside the typical activities which a woman who is “just a friend” of a man would do. For example, a make-out session in the copy room at the office, or going on a date to IKEA, and pretending they live there, or more intimate activities that a “family friendly” blog ought not to discuss.
While my life obviously does not have an omniscient narrator or a kid sister to take and reject advice from, I have had an abundance of women who could fill the role of Summer if I were Tom.
There were times where I thought that reality would align with my expectations of a relationship which, in the end, never reached those expectations. Not even close.
There was even one time, when something did seem to go according to plan, that it seemed that any fountain would come alive at my passing (were it not close to winter time, and had I chosen to walk past said fountain after the event occurred, it might as well have).
There was even one “Summer” who wound up essentially like Summer in the movie. (I wrote about her last year, though only those to whom I give permission to read that writing may do so.)
At the end of the movie (the 500th day of Summer), after moping about his loss of Summer, then deciding to quit his job as a greeting card writer and become an architect, meets a woman who was interviewing for an architect job. She says she has noticed him from the park bench he calls his favorite spot. They start up a conversation, and discover they have a lot in common. As Tom is being called in to be interviewed, he asks if she’s interested in getting together after the interview. She eventually agrees. As Tom walks to the interview room, we cut away to a title card, which clicks over to (1), indicating the first day of Autumn.
That’s where the story ends, but the story of my life continues. As it turns out, as I move on, it seems that those “Autumns” are more like “Summers,” but more like “lesser Summers.” There’s less emotional investment, less damage done when I’m shoved off into Friend Zone purgatory, or the Outer Darkness of the Acquaintance Zone.
!! SPOILER Ends Here
Okay, so (500) Days of Summer isn’t a scene-by-scene story of my life (especially with its non-linear presentation), but it’s close enough for me to say that it’s a movie that can be used to describe it. If I were to choose a movie that best describes the story of my life, it would be that one. Of course, names, faces, places, stories, and things like that would be changed to more accurately portray my story, but it would be pretty much the same. Though the sequels (yes, there would be sequels) would be pretty much almost identical to the original.
Showing posts with label romantic love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label romantic love. Show all posts
09 February 2010
20 February 2009
You Thought I Forgot? The Conclusion.
Actually, I was busy uploading videos to YouTube, but anyway, to close out Unrequited Love Awareness Week (ULAW), I'll just hit you with the link to the Wikipedia page, and a few more things.
First, the link to Wikipedia.
Next, a few reasons why I blogged about ULAW this week.
There. That's a few reasons why I started this. Hopefully, next year will be different. I really wouldn't mind a good cuddle every now and then.
First, the link to Wikipedia.
Next, a few reasons why I blogged about ULAW this week.
- Unrequited Love Sucks!
- Unrequited Love deprives the sufferer of necessary human emotions.
- Unrequited Love can lead to depression, and no antidepressant can cure it.
- Unrequited Love can affect future relationships, for the victim can live in fear of losing the current partner.
- Unrequited Love is the least desirable of feelings.
- Valentine's Day is the bane of all sufferers of Unrequited Love. Since the day is filled with expressions of romantic love (ἔρως eros), the sufferer commonly feels left out.
There. That's a few reasons why I started this. Hopefully, next year will be different. I really wouldn't mind a good cuddle every now and then.
15 February 2009
Valentine's Day: It's All About Eros
Yesterday, I went to Red Lobster with my family. The first words out of our server's mouth were, "Happy Valentine's Day." I reply, "What's there to be happy about?" This is my general attitude toward the day. Everywhere I look, I see couples going around to restaurants, movie theaters, parks, anywhere else that's public, obviously showing their affection towards each other. My reason for asking, "What's there to be happy about?" is simple. Valentine's Day, in its current form, is a celebration of love. Not just any kind of love, mind you, but a specific type of love: Romantic love. I am of the opinion that romantic love is the only kind of love that matters on Valentine's Day. Since I am not currently in a relationship, I do not have that outlet to which I can share requited romantic love, and so I am frustrated at the fact that others are getting it while I am not. It's like the kid in a candy store who, while in line to buy some candy, is continuously being passed over. While everyone else in the store is getting candy, the kid has been skipped and overlooked so many times, he has no choice but to leave the store visibly upset.
Every time I see a couple, cuddling, kissing, holding hands, with the couple visibly happy with each other, I think to myself, "I want that," referring to the relationship and the obvious status thereof. It just bugs me that I have been, up to this point, unable to obtain that. All my relationship experience has consisted of love unrequited. You know, "I love her, but she doesn't love me," or "She sees me as nothing more than a friend," or "Get away from me before I file a restraining order against you," things like that. (Although I must say that I have never heard that last one used against me.)
If there was more than one word in the English language used to identify a certain type of love. The Greek language has at least three. At least, these three are the big ones:
First is Philia (φιλία), which means friendship in modern Greek. It's a love without passion. "It includes loyalty to friends, family, and community, and requires virtue, equality and familiarity," according to Wikipedia. This word is the root word for the name of the city of Philadelphia.
Next is Agapē (ἀγάπη), which is more of a general love. The above-linked Wikipedia page says, "It can be described as the feeling of being content or holding one in high regard. The verb appears in the New Testament describing, amongst other things, the relationship between Jesus and the beloved disciple....The Christian sense of the term expands the original Greek sense and encompasses a total commitment or self-sacrificial love for the thing loved. A great deal of Christian theology is indebted to the frequency of this word and its interpretation in the New Testament."
The final one of the Big Three Greek Words for Love is Eros (ἔρως), which is a passionate love. "Eros can be interpreted as a love for someone whom you love more than the philia love of friendship. It can also apply to dating relationships as well as marriage." It does not have to be sexual in nature (the English word "erotic" comes directly from this Greek word), but it has to be more than just philia. This kind of love is what Valentine's Day is categorized to be about.
While you can demonstrate Agapē love to almost anyone you see on the street, and have Philia love for your friends, it's this Eros love that makes Valentine's Day special for almost everyone.
As a relationship matures, there may be a shift in the balance of the types of love between the couple. However, on Valentine's Day, it's all about eros. Those who want eros, but can't get eros tend to end up not liking the day much. Those who want eros with someone who only wants philia with that person is even worse, as he is the victim of what we call, "Unrequited Love."
Every time I see a couple, cuddling, kissing, holding hands, with the couple visibly happy with each other, I think to myself, "I want that," referring to the relationship and the obvious status thereof. It just bugs me that I have been, up to this point, unable to obtain that. All my relationship experience has consisted of love unrequited. You know, "I love her, but she doesn't love me," or "She sees me as nothing more than a friend," or "Get away from me before I file a restraining order against you," things like that. (Although I must say that I have never heard that last one used against me.)
If there was more than one word in the English language used to identify a certain type of love. The Greek language has at least three. At least, these three are the big ones:
First is Philia (φιλία), which means friendship in modern Greek. It's a love without passion. "It includes loyalty to friends, family, and community, and requires virtue, equality and familiarity," according to Wikipedia. This word is the root word for the name of the city of Philadelphia.
Next is Agapē (ἀγάπη), which is more of a general love. The above-linked Wikipedia page says, "It can be described as the feeling of being content or holding one in high regard. The verb appears in the New Testament describing, amongst other things, the relationship between Jesus and the beloved disciple....The Christian sense of the term expands the original Greek sense and encompasses a total commitment or self-sacrificial love for the thing loved. A great deal of Christian theology is indebted to the frequency of this word and its interpretation in the New Testament."
The final one of the Big Three Greek Words for Love is Eros (ἔρως), which is a passionate love. "Eros can be interpreted as a love for someone whom you love more than the philia love of friendship. It can also apply to dating relationships as well as marriage." It does not have to be sexual in nature (the English word "erotic" comes directly from this Greek word), but it has to be more than just philia. This kind of love is what Valentine's Day is categorized to be about.
While you can demonstrate Agapē love to almost anyone you see on the street, and have Philia love for your friends, it's this Eros love that makes Valentine's Day special for almost everyone.
As a relationship matures, there may be a shift in the balance of the types of love between the couple. However, on Valentine's Day, it's all about eros. Those who want eros, but can't get eros tend to end up not liking the day much. Those who want eros with someone who only wants philia with that person is even worse, as he is the victim of what we call, "Unrequited Love."