…(500) Days of Summer. At some point during this week, I have got to write about this movie. Might as well be now.
!!SPOILER ALERT!!
If you have not yet seen, but wish to see the movie (500) Days of Summer, please refrain from reading the main body of this post.
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!
The other day, I finally got to see (500) Days of Summer, and I thought to myself at several times during the movie. These thoughts I was thinking were all along the lines of, “Wow. I’ve been through that myself.” I really felt sympathetic with the Tom character. Tom is in love with Summer. Summer “just wants to be friends” with Tom, despite doing things together that fall outside the typical activities which a woman who is “just a friend” of a man would do. For example, a make-out session in the copy room at the office, or going on a date to IKEA, and pretending they live there, or more intimate activities that a “family friendly” blog ought not to discuss.
While my life obviously does not have an omniscient narrator or a kid sister to take and reject advice from, I have had an abundance of women who could fill the role of Summer if I were Tom.
There were times where I thought that reality would align with my expectations of a relationship which, in the end, never reached those expectations. Not even close.
There was even one time, when something did seem to go according to plan, that it seemed that any fountain would come alive at my passing (were it not close to winter time, and had I chosen to walk past said fountain after the event occurred, it might as well have).
There was even one “Summer” who wound up essentially like Summer in the movie. (I wrote about her last year, though only those to whom I give permission to read that writing may do so.)
At the end of the movie (the 500th day of Summer), after moping about his loss of Summer, then deciding to quit his job as a greeting card writer and become an architect, meets a woman who was interviewing for an architect job. She says she has noticed him from the park bench he calls his favorite spot. They start up a conversation, and discover they have a lot in common. As Tom is being called in to be interviewed, he asks if she’s interested in getting together after the interview. She eventually agrees. As Tom walks to the interview room, we cut away to a title card, which clicks over to (1), indicating the first day of Autumn.
That’s where the story ends, but the story of my life continues. As it turns out, as I move on, it seems that those “Autumns” are more like “Summers,” but more like “lesser Summers.” There’s less emotional investment, less damage done when I’m shoved off into Friend Zone purgatory, or the Outer Darkness of the Acquaintance Zone.
!! SPOILER Ends Here
Okay, so (500) Days of Summer isn’t a scene-by-scene story of my life (especially with its non-linear presentation), but it’s close enough for me to say that it’s a movie that can be used to describe it. If I were to choose a movie that best describes the story of my life, it would be that one. Of course, names, faces, places, stories, and things like that would be changed to more accurately portray my story, but it would be pretty much the same. Though the sequels (yes, there would be sequels) would be pretty much almost identical to the original.
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
09 February 2010
20 February 2009
You Thought I Forgot? The Conclusion.
Actually, I was busy uploading videos to YouTube, but anyway, to close out Unrequited Love Awareness Week (ULAW), I'll just hit you with the link to the Wikipedia page, and a few more things.
First, the link to Wikipedia.
Next, a few reasons why I blogged about ULAW this week.
There. That's a few reasons why I started this. Hopefully, next year will be different. I really wouldn't mind a good cuddle every now and then.
First, the link to Wikipedia.
Next, a few reasons why I blogged about ULAW this week.
- Unrequited Love Sucks!
- Unrequited Love deprives the sufferer of necessary human emotions.
- Unrequited Love can lead to depression, and no antidepressant can cure it.
- Unrequited Love can affect future relationships, for the victim can live in fear of losing the current partner.
- Unrequited Love is the least desirable of feelings.
- Valentine's Day is the bane of all sufferers of Unrequited Love. Since the day is filled with expressions of romantic love (ἔρως eros), the sufferer commonly feels left out.
There. That's a few reasons why I started this. Hopefully, next year will be different. I really wouldn't mind a good cuddle every now and then.
18 February 2009
The Most Devastating Unrequited Love
RESTRICTED
Because of the sensitivity of the topic of this particular blog post, I have elected not to post it to The B24 Blog. However, if you are one of my Facebook friends, you'll know where to find it, IF you're one of the guys.
17 February 2009
Feeling Unrequited?
While it's almost never easy to get over unrequited love, there are a couple of things that can help ease the pain. They won't help you find someone, but they can ease the pain.
Here's an article from the New York Times showing that the pain of unrequited love afflicts the rejecter as well as the rejected.
Here's a Facebook group with a very appropriate title.
Share your story with those who can sympathize with your situation. It'll be OK.
Speaking of sharing stories, have I got a doozey for you! I'll post it tomorrow on Facebook, but I'll only let certain people see it.
Here's an article from the New York Times showing that the pain of unrequited love afflicts the rejecter as well as the rejected.
Here's a Facebook group with a very appropriate title.
Share your story with those who can sympathize with your situation. It'll be OK.
Speaking of sharing stories, have I got a doozey for you! I'll post it tomorrow on Facebook, but I'll only let certain people see it.
16 February 2009
What Am I Doing Wrong?
I recently replied to a friend's status on Facebook, stating my previous claim that the only kind of love that matters on Valentine's Day is romantic love (or ἔρως, eros, as the Greeks call it). She replied that if the only kind of love that matters to a person on V-day is romantic, then they're doing something wrong on the other days of the year. I thought about this statement for a moment. I then discovered that something that was wrong. It's three little words that construct a single phrase: "Not Getting Any." While the rest of the English-speaking world may refer to "not getting any" in a sexual context, I use it here in a much broader context.
The context in which I use this phrase is the same one that all sufferers of unrequited love are associated with. They give, but they don't receive. They show their love, affection, and desire to further the relationship towards a person, but that person doesn't give any back in return. In other words, the lover doesn't get any back from the beloved.
The progression of love in a relationship, using the Greek language (I'm just loving the Greek language right now.) is first, ἀγάπη, agape, the general love one towards another. A respect for other people which has nothing to do with being friends or lovers, just the fact that that other person is a fellow human being. The next stage is φιλία, philia, a more familiar relationship. This relationship is had between friends and family. It's that "brotherly love" that people with close ties to each other have for each other. Finally, there's ἔρως, eros, the passionate love that is most commonly seen (in conjunction with φιλία) between boyfriend and girlfriend, husband and wife, and other such couples, showing their affection toward each other publicly. It needn't be sexual, just romantic.
"Not getting any" comes when one wants to transition the relationship from φιλία to ἔρως, or introduce more of the latter into an existing relationship. Situation: A guy wants to further his relationship with a girl he's been interested in for a while. He has had various opportunities to hang out with her and a group of mutual friends, but he now desires a more "one-on-one" type of relationship. He wants a bit of ἔρως thrown into the mix. He asks her to go out on a date with him. Now several things can happen here. If she turns him down, it's devistating for him, especially if he was genuinely attracted to her. If she says yes, it can mean one of two things. It could mean that she genuinely has an interest in him (in which case, more ἔρως can safely enter the relationship), or she just doesn't have the heart in her to flat out say no and hurt his feelings. If the latter is the case, this leads him on to thinking that the relationship is progressing, but in reality, she's just doing it to be nice. This may eventually lead to the "Let's just be friends" discussion, which basically destroys him more than just saying no to him when he first asked. It's like making an investment in the stock market. If she accepts the date invitation, it's like the price of his emotional stock is rising. It's a bull market for him. But when she says, "Let's just be friends," the stock makes a spectacular crash. (Like the price of a share of Google (GOOG) dropping from $350 to $0.01 in the time it takes for her to utter that phrase.)
I have had situations like this numerous times in my life, but there was one who transformed my emotional investment from the hottest stock on the market to a penny stock almost instantly. More on that later.
The context in which I use this phrase is the same one that all sufferers of unrequited love are associated with. They give, but they don't receive. They show their love, affection, and desire to further the relationship towards a person, but that person doesn't give any back in return. In other words, the lover doesn't get any back from the beloved.
The progression of love in a relationship, using the Greek language (I'm just loving the Greek language right now.) is first, ἀγάπη, agape, the general love one towards another. A respect for other people which has nothing to do with being friends or lovers, just the fact that that other person is a fellow human being. The next stage is φιλία, philia, a more familiar relationship. This relationship is had between friends and family. It's that "brotherly love" that people with close ties to each other have for each other. Finally, there's ἔρως, eros, the passionate love that is most commonly seen (in conjunction with φιλία) between boyfriend and girlfriend, husband and wife, and other such couples, showing their affection toward each other publicly. It needn't be sexual, just romantic.
"Not getting any" comes when one wants to transition the relationship from φιλία to ἔρως, or introduce more of the latter into an existing relationship. Situation: A guy wants to further his relationship with a girl he's been interested in for a while. He has had various opportunities to hang out with her and a group of mutual friends, but he now desires a more "one-on-one" type of relationship. He wants a bit of ἔρως thrown into the mix. He asks her to go out on a date with him. Now several things can happen here. If she turns him down, it's devistating for him, especially if he was genuinely attracted to her. If she says yes, it can mean one of two things. It could mean that she genuinely has an interest in him (in which case, more ἔρως can safely enter the relationship), or she just doesn't have the heart in her to flat out say no and hurt his feelings. If the latter is the case, this leads him on to thinking that the relationship is progressing, but in reality, she's just doing it to be nice. This may eventually lead to the "Let's just be friends" discussion, which basically destroys him more than just saying no to him when he first asked. It's like making an investment in the stock market. If she accepts the date invitation, it's like the price of his emotional stock is rising. It's a bull market for him. But when she says, "Let's just be friends," the stock makes a spectacular crash. (Like the price of a share of Google (GOOG) dropping from $350 to $0.01 in the time it takes for her to utter that phrase.)
I have had situations like this numerous times in my life, but there was one who transformed my emotional investment from the hottest stock on the market to a penny stock almost instantly. More on that later.
14 February 2009
"Happy" Unrequited Love Awareness Week!
There are many names associated with unrequited love: Cyrano de Bergerac, Don Quixote, Charlie Brown, the list goes on. But nothing could be more crushing to the heart of an individual than to be the victim of unrequited love. The numbers are unknown to me at this point, but I would think that millions of people around the world – both men and women, but mostly men – suffer from loving someone who does not love them back. I have experienced this feeling numerous times, and I can, without any hesitation, declare that unrequited love stinks. That's why I declare this week – February 14th through February 20th – to be Unrequited Love Awareness Week. It is a week to recognize those among us who may be suffering from this heartbreaking predicament, and perhaps help them get out of it by showing them what everyone in this world needs: A relationship where romance is a mutually contributing factor.
Also take note that while suffering from Unrequited Love is a negative feeling, the only word in the English language which recognizes the observance of some event or holiday is the word Happy. So, while the idea itself is a negative one which brings much unhappiness, observance of a recognition of such an idea with an attempt to seek out and help those who may be suffering from it can cause much happiness to all involved. Therefore, I put the word Happy in quotation marks, to indicate that the idea being recognized is, in and of itself not one that brings happiness.
As for the timing of this observance, well, Valentine's Day is the perfect day to recognize it, since with all the requited lovers out there, almost none of them recognize that there are still those who feel left out or excluded in something that all should be happily participating in (unless, of course, they don't want it, but that's another story). Maybe next year, I'll move it so that it ends on Valentine's Day (Feb. 8-14), to make it a goal for those unrequiteds to shake it on V-day.
As for this lowly blog, each day I'll try to find something to write about.