As promised, here is the so-called "Unseen Video," and how it came to gain Unseen status.
It started on Friday the 23rd of November, after finishing up my video, The Rest of NYC, I sent an e-mail to the guy who was the e-mail receiver for submissions. I also uploaded it to YouTube, as was directed. I traveled to the Apple store in SoHo to make the upload, as the relatively slow 160kbps upload speed of my DSL connection would not handle the 17MB file as an e-mail attachment. After doing that, I went to gather material for my next project.
Anyway, long story short, I received no e-mail notification as to do anything else, and I assumed that all was well. Not so. When Lingo day came, I was disappointed when my creation was not shown (I should have brought my flash drive ! I still had it on there!). I then advertised it at the conclusion of the event that it would be part of a double feature at 5:30 PM Monday, which is right about now. So, without further ado, here's the "Unseen Video" Transfer Point Video #31, The Rest of NYC
And here's some new stuff, Transfer Point Video #32, (B) Movie.
Feel free to comment and read my reviews of the other Lingo films further down the main page, and PLEASE let me know what you think!
Showing posts with label Lingo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lingo. Show all posts
03 December 2007
Lingo Reviews
In this post, I play the role of film critic and will write my reviews of the several films that were shown at the Lingos. I'll rate each film using a Cow system. Eight Cows is an excellent movie, One Cow is a poor film. Ten Cows is the most a film could earn. A Moo is equivalent to half a cow. Moos will be issued only to ratings with fewer than Five Cows. With that, we begin.
One of the shortest of the short films is Movement #153. When a bunch of balloons falls from an apartment window, children in the courtyard below have fun. There's nothing more aesthetically pleasing than children playing with balloons. The music choice for this film is "Open up Your Heart (and Let the Sunshine in)," performed by Australian pop/rock group Frente!, which makes it even more adorable.
My Rating: 6 Cows.
Let me start with the description that's on the YouTube page for this film.
Apparently, the film is about a photographer shooting some scenes of a parade in Midway, Utah.
While there are some slightly amusing things (like the guy in a motorized wheelchair following a kiddie train down the street), Swiss Days spends too much time focusing on the fact that the lead character is a photographer, and little on the alleged relationship mentioned in the description. Most of it looks more like a home video of some festival, with the "lead character" looking more like an extra at some places. If there were more focus on the boyfriend/girlfriend relationship between the two, this would have been a better film. In the climax scene (where we first meet the girlfriend), the dialogue between the two is barely audible. Had they gone and re-done that part, it would have been more understandable. The barely audible dialogue, the setting in Utah, and the fact that it looks more like a home movie more than anything else are all setbacks which turned a movie with a lot of potential into a dull yawnfest.
My Rating: 3 Cows
While I'm not a big fan of basketball, Inwood Good Basketball provides a soundtrack that's barely palatable (While one song does include the F bomb in its lyrics, it's barely audible unless you're listening for it). Filmed mostly on the Upper East Side of Manhattan, this film does some good moves, and a Jamba Juice run.
Overall, this film is a basketball movie that's more basketball than anything else.
My Rating: 4 Cows and a Moo
Take the TV show Kids Say the Darnedest Things and LDS gospel topics, mix them together, and you have Primary Progress. Adorable kids giving "cute" answers to basic gospel topics, like who Jesus Christ is, about His birth, the Holy Ghost, Joseph Smith, tithing, and the Book of Mormon, among others. The sad part was that the Lingo people, when they were playing this at the festival, cut off the ending, which told you who these kids were, but it's on YouTube, and you can see the whole thing there.
Seriously, this is a funny film, but that's what kids are sometimes.
My Rating: 7 Cows
Women and arm wrestling. Two worlds which some believe don't go together. However, the lovely ladies in this film, destroy that stereotypical mindset, which is the only high attribute of this film. The music sometimes overtakes the dialogue in this film, and that's the only big downside. The background music is supposed to be in the background! That's why it's called background music! If there is no dialogue, go ahead and put it at full volume. Otherwise, let the foreground sounds take their proper place in the foreground!
My Rating: 6 Cows for the film, 9 Cows for each of the ladies in the film. Good going, girls!
The genre of the silent film may be long dead in today's cinema scene, but the Bontorno Brothers make an attempt to revive it with Salad-Tong Arm Man. While it has a storyline as awkward and inconsistent as the titles of this film are, Salad-Tong more than makes up for it in the comedy department, despite the fact that the intertitles had as much action as the actors did (which gets quite annoying if someone's actually trying to read them). Even the blatant misspellings of words like e-mail and en garde were minor points. The combining of the Western genre with modern-day technology makes it a bit more humorous.
This film was a great mix of Western, Silent, and Modern in what can only be described as a great mix of Western, Silent, and Modern.
My Rating: 7 Cows
While literacy awareness is not one of my favorite genres of film, Love to Read Ⅱ provides a glimpse into a few people's favorite books. Dr. Seuss makes a surprising appearance in this film, which is the only real funny point, especially when he's referred to as a "prophet of another faith." The film is basically a book review of four different books, with the Dr. Seuss book thrown in there for a laugh.
My Rating: 5 Cows
This movie starts off as a film trailer for movie you'll never see, then confuses us as it turns out to be an advert for a web site. The hopping scenes were remotely funny, but turning a web site into a movie is more difficult than the reverse.
My Rating: 5 Cows
One of the three transit-related films submitted for the Lingos, NY NY Underground is the story of a sister missionary who serves in the fictitious New York New York Underground mission, based in the subway. Despite the fact that the film allegedly takes place in the subway, there are some obviously non-underground scenes here. However, this heart-warming tale about people who are not mole-people is a touching tale, and is well-deserving of my rating.
My Rating: 7 Cows
Internally known as Transfer Point Video #31, The Rest of NYC is my video. I don't want to sound biased or anything, but this is a great film, with a masterminds of Daft Punk providing the soundtrack. A rather funny "faux commercial" is played alongside the credits.
No link, as my previous post says it will be shown on the B24 Blog as part of a double feature at 5:30 PM today.
No rating either. As I said, I don't want to sound biased.
Now, here are some that weren't posted on YouTube.
This movie was basically a montage of paintings, many of them from artist Vincent van Gogh. There isn't much to say about this one. After about two minutes of watching this, I continued to think to myself, "Is it over yet?" Two words can best describe this movie: Totally Boring! Even more than Swiss Days!
My Rating: 1 Cow and a Moo… And I'm being generous with that Moo there.
This video documents a day in the life of Phyllis, a bus driver for Utah State University. While the campus shuttle bus theme was right on the edge of being interesting, there was a good cameo by the UTA's TRAX light rail system. And you can't go wrong with being pro-transit. Near the end, Phyllis was all like, "Don't drive to class, take the bus. You may show up a few minutes late, you may be a few minutes early, but at least you'll get there!" The second of three transit-related movies that were in the running, not bad at all.
My Rating: 6 Cows
After a planned date to a Hannah Montana concert didn't go as planned, a group of friends get together and try to recoup the loss. Selling cupcakes on the street, doing drawings in Central Park, selling MetroCard swipes in the subway, or rapping elsewhere in Manhattan, each of the couples has their own obstacles to overcome, For example, Jen can't really rap that well, but Oscar teaches her a couple of things. This film was one of the highlights of Lingos, and there was a great effort put on by the cast, to make this film a hit.
My Rating: 8 Cows
Walking through the projects in Manhattan's Alphabet City can be tough, especially when confronted with a couple of street thugs, one of which being armed with a knife. Don't worry, because the hero of the story has a little Western in him and gives is friend some advice he received from an Indian chief. Little does he know that the friend had some advice of his own.
This film was voted the best film of the night. I agree that it was good, but I don't think it's worth any more than my rating of 8 Cows, which is still excellent.
My Rating: 8 Cows
The surprise hit of the evening (and my personal favorite) is a short film called TAFT. William Howard Taft was the 27th President of the United States, but that factoid has nothing to do with this film.
Picture this, an oil field with numerous "nodding donkey" pumpjacks dotting the desert landscape. At the start, everything is still and silent, with the pumpjacks motionless. Then suddenly, things liven up as the song Rock Around the Clock starts up, and the pumpjacks start movin' and groovin' to the music. A hilarious and totally unexpected film which deservedly gets my highest rating for the night.
My Rating: 10 Cows
There you go, those were all the movies, and thank you for reading my reviews.
Movement #153
One of the shortest of the short films is Movement #153. When a bunch of balloons falls from an apartment window, children in the courtyard below have fun. There's nothing more aesthetically pleasing than children playing with balloons. The music choice for this film is "Open up Your Heart (and Let the Sunshine in)," performed by Australian pop/rock group Frente!, which makes it even more adorable.
My Rating: 6 Cows.
Swiss Days
Let me start with the description that's on the YouTube page for this film.
Jason is photographing the annual Swiss Days Festival when his girlfriend, Sarah, surprises him by showing up. She asks him to spend the day with her. He turns her down. A man overhears their conversation and suggests she goes with him. Jane leaves with the man. by Mark Finch Hedengren
Apparently, the film is about a photographer shooting some scenes of a parade in Midway, Utah.
While there are some slightly amusing things (like the guy in a motorized wheelchair following a kiddie train down the street), Swiss Days spends too much time focusing on the fact that the lead character is a photographer, and little on the alleged relationship mentioned in the description. Most of it looks more like a home video of some festival, with the "lead character" looking more like an extra at some places. If there were more focus on the boyfriend/girlfriend relationship between the two, this would have been a better film. In the climax scene (where we first meet the girlfriend), the dialogue between the two is barely audible. Had they gone and re-done that part, it would have been more understandable. The barely audible dialogue, the setting in Utah, and the fact that it looks more like a home movie more than anything else are all setbacks which turned a movie with a lot of potential into a dull yawnfest.
My Rating: 3 Cows
Inwood Good Basketball
While I'm not a big fan of basketball, Inwood Good Basketball provides a soundtrack that's barely palatable (While one song does include the F bomb in its lyrics, it's barely audible unless you're listening for it). Filmed mostly on the Upper East Side of Manhattan, this film does some good moves, and a Jamba Juice run.
Overall, this film is a basketball movie that's more basketball than anything else.
My Rating: 4 Cows and a Moo
Primary Progress
Take the TV show Kids Say the Darnedest Things and LDS gospel topics, mix them together, and you have Primary Progress. Adorable kids giving "cute" answers to basic gospel topics, like who Jesus Christ is, about His birth, the Holy Ghost, Joseph Smith, tithing, and the Book of Mormon, among others. The sad part was that the Lingo people, when they were playing this at the festival, cut off the ending, which told you who these kids were, but it's on YouTube, and you can see the whole thing there.
Seriously, this is a funny film, but that's what kids are sometimes.
My Rating: 7 Cows
Smackdown
Women and arm wrestling. Two worlds which some believe don't go together. However, the lovely ladies in this film, destroy that stereotypical mindset, which is the only high attribute of this film. The music sometimes overtakes the dialogue in this film, and that's the only big downside. The background music is supposed to be in the background! That's why it's called background music! If there is no dialogue, go ahead and put it at full volume. Otherwise, let the foreground sounds take their proper place in the foreground!
My Rating: 6 Cows for the film, 9 Cows for each of the ladies in the film. Good going, girls!
The Adventures of Mr. Salad-Tong Arm Man
The genre of the silent film may be long dead in today's cinema scene, but the Bontorno Brothers make an attempt to revive it with Salad-Tong Arm Man. While it has a storyline as awkward and inconsistent as the titles of this film are, Salad-Tong more than makes up for it in the comedy department, despite the fact that the intertitles had as much action as the actors did (which gets quite annoying if someone's actually trying to read them). Even the blatant misspellings of words like e-mail and en garde were minor points. The combining of the Western genre with modern-day technology makes it a bit more humorous.
This film was a great mix of Western, Silent, and Modern in what can only be described as a great mix of Western, Silent, and Modern.
My Rating: 7 Cows
Love to Read Part Ⅱ
While literacy awareness is not one of my favorite genres of film, Love to Read Ⅱ provides a glimpse into a few people's favorite books. Dr. Seuss makes a surprising appearance in this film, which is the only real funny point, especially when he's referred to as a "prophet of another faith." The film is basically a book review of four different books, with the Dr. Seuss book thrown in there for a laugh.
My Rating: 5 Cows
HireASaint.org
This movie starts off as a film trailer for movie you'll never see, then confuses us as it turns out to be an advert for a web site. The hopping scenes were remotely funny, but turning a web site into a movie is more difficult than the reverse.
My Rating: 5 Cows
NY NY Underground
One of the three transit-related films submitted for the Lingos, NY NY Underground is the story of a sister missionary who serves in the fictitious New York New York Underground mission, based in the subway. Despite the fact that the film allegedly takes place in the subway, there are some obviously non-underground scenes here. However, this heart-warming tale about people who are not mole-people is a touching tale, and is well-deserving of my rating.
My Rating: 7 Cows
The Rest of NYC
Internally known as Transfer Point Video #31, The Rest of NYC is my video. I don't want to sound biased or anything, but this is a great film, with a masterminds of Daft Punk providing the soundtrack. A rather funny "faux commercial" is played alongside the credits.
No link, as my previous post says it will be shown on the B24 Blog as part of a double feature at 5:30 PM today.
No rating either. As I said, I don't want to sound biased.
Now, here are some that weren't posted on YouTube.
Vincent
This movie was basically a montage of paintings, many of them from artist Vincent van Gogh. There isn't much to say about this one. After about two minutes of watching this, I continued to think to myself, "Is it over yet?" Two words can best describe this movie: Totally Boring! Even more than Swiss Days!
My Rating: 1 Cow and a Moo… And I'm being generous with that Moo there.
Riding the Bus with Phyllis
This video documents a day in the life of Phyllis, a bus driver for Utah State University. While the campus shuttle bus theme was right on the edge of being interesting, there was a good cameo by the UTA's TRAX light rail system. And you can't go wrong with being pro-transit. Near the end, Phyllis was all like, "Don't drive to class, take the bus. You may show up a few minutes late, you may be a few minutes early, but at least you'll get there!" The second of three transit-related movies that were in the running, not bad at all.
My Rating: 6 Cows
Group Date
After a planned date to a Hannah Montana concert didn't go as planned, a group of friends get together and try to recoup the loss. Selling cupcakes on the street, doing drawings in Central Park, selling MetroCard swipes in the subway, or rapping elsewhere in Manhattan, each of the couples has their own obstacles to overcome, For example, Jen can't really rap that well, but Oscar teaches her a couple of things. This film was one of the highlights of Lingos, and there was a great effort put on by the cast, to make this film a hit.
My Rating: 8 Cows
Challenges
Walking through the projects in Manhattan's Alphabet City can be tough, especially when confronted with a couple of street thugs, one of which being armed with a knife. Don't worry, because the hero of the story has a little Western in him and gives is friend some advice he received from an Indian chief. Little does he know that the friend had some advice of his own.
This film was voted the best film of the night. I agree that it was good, but I don't think it's worth any more than my rating of 8 Cows, which is still excellent.
My Rating: 8 Cows
TAFT
The surprise hit of the evening (and my personal favorite) is a short film called TAFT. William Howard Taft was the 27th President of the United States, but that factoid has nothing to do with this film.
Picture this, an oil field with numerous "nodding donkey" pumpjacks dotting the desert landscape. At the start, everything is still and silent, with the pumpjacks motionless. Then suddenly, things liven up as the song Rock Around the Clock starts up, and the pumpjacks start movin' and groovin' to the music. A hilarious and totally unexpected film which deservedly gets my highest rating for the night.
My Rating: 10 Cows
There you go, those were all the movies, and thank you for reading my reviews.
Johnny Lingo Had a Cow, Traded for an Ugly Wife…
On Saturday, the Lingos Film Festival took place in Manhattan. In preparation, I submitted a video entitled, The Rest of NYC. I put a great deal of time and effort into making that video, and was satisfied to submit it via e-mail, and post it on YouTube.
At the start of Saturday night's event, I was excited in anticipation to see my creation presented before the large crowd that showed up there. There were several films that had me laughing, and then there were some that made me want to do my best impression of Homer Simpson shouting, "Boring!" Out of respect for the creators of those videos, I kept my mouth shut when such feelings came upon me.
The biggest surprise was not what was shown, but what was not shown. Even though there were many good videos, mine was not shown! At all! Not even a reference to it! The worst part is that nobody said anything to me about whether it could or could not be shown there. If I had received an e-mail a day or two before saying something like, "Hey, Robert. Could you bring a copy of your video on CD or DVD [or even on a flash drive] to the event? I can't seem to play it on my computer." I would have done so. I had produced it in 3 different formats: AVI DivX, WMV (which I sent via e-mail), and iPod-compatible MP4. However, nobody said anything to me about getting it in another format.
These videos, they're like my children. I have made 31 of them (with a 32nd on the way), and if someone doesn't give the video the respect it deserves, or the respect which I expect it to receive, it offends me. Nobody has given me a clear and proper explanation as to why it was not shown. I have worked my butt off to get this out before the submission deadline, and having done so, I expect nothing but the best treatment. (I'm not saying that it deserves to win an award, I'm saying that at the very least, it should have been shown to the audience.)
To not show a video which was submitted according to the directions I had received, and presuming that others had done the same, and not give an explanation as to why the video is not being shown, demonstrates a lack of respect toward the video and its creator. It's as if someone had come out of nowhere and slapped me in the face, for no other reason than to slap me in the face.
I had planned a release of this video on my blog during the week following the Lingos, so I promoted it to all I could get to listen to me for a moment. I am posting the video I submitted for Lingos as part of a double feature at 17:30 EST (That's 5:30 PM for those who don't understand the 24-hour clock), on Monday, December 3, 2007. It'll be right here on this blog. I've already mentioned it to many, and hopefully, they'll be watching.
For those who may wonder where the title of this post is from, it is from the film Johnny Lingo, where the name of the film festival comes from as well. A basic synopsis of the film can be found here. At the wedding party for Johnny and Mahana, some of the island kids began taunting him, saying, "Johnny Lingo Had a Cow, Traded for an Ugly Wife. Johnny Lingo's married now, He'll be sorry all his life!" That's how I felt when I discovered the faux pas of not seeing my video at the LFF.
At the start of Saturday night's event, I was excited in anticipation to see my creation presented before the large crowd that showed up there. There were several films that had me laughing, and then there were some that made me want to do my best impression of Homer Simpson shouting, "Boring!" Out of respect for the creators of those videos, I kept my mouth shut when such feelings came upon me.
The biggest surprise was not what was shown, but what was not shown. Even though there were many good videos, mine was not shown! At all! Not even a reference to it! The worst part is that nobody said anything to me about whether it could or could not be shown there. If I had received an e-mail a day or two before saying something like, "Hey, Robert. Could you bring a copy of your video on CD or DVD [or even on a flash drive] to the event? I can't seem to play it on my computer." I would have done so. I had produced it in 3 different formats: AVI DivX, WMV (which I sent via e-mail), and iPod-compatible MP4. However, nobody said anything to me about getting it in another format.
These videos, they're like my children. I have made 31 of them (with a 32nd on the way), and if someone doesn't give the video the respect it deserves, or the respect which I expect it to receive, it offends me. Nobody has given me a clear and proper explanation as to why it was not shown. I have worked my butt off to get this out before the submission deadline, and having done so, I expect nothing but the best treatment. (I'm not saying that it deserves to win an award, I'm saying that at the very least, it should have been shown to the audience.)
To not show a video which was submitted according to the directions I had received, and presuming that others had done the same, and not give an explanation as to why the video is not being shown, demonstrates a lack of respect toward the video and its creator. It's as if someone had come out of nowhere and slapped me in the face, for no other reason than to slap me in the face.
I had planned a release of this video on my blog during the week following the Lingos, so I promoted it to all I could get to listen to me for a moment. I am posting the video I submitted for Lingos as part of a double feature at 17:30 EST (That's 5:30 PM for those who don't understand the 24-hour clock), on Monday, December 3, 2007. It'll be right here on this blog. I've already mentioned it to many, and hopefully, they'll be watching.
For those who may wonder where the title of this post is from, it is from the film Johnny Lingo, where the name of the film festival comes from as well. A basic synopsis of the film can be found here. At the wedding party for Johnny and Mahana, some of the island kids began taunting him, saying, "Johnny Lingo Had a Cow, Traded for an Ugly Wife. Johnny Lingo's married now, He'll be sorry all his life!" That's how I felt when I discovered the faux pas of not seeing my video at the LFF.