The Means to an End

Last week, I visited a ward for Young Single Adult members of the church. It just so happened to be their ward conference there. There were two speakers listed in the program for the sacrament meeting: the ward's bishop, and the stake president, who himself was a bishop in a YSA ward in that stake. Of the things I heard the ward's bishop say to the congregation was that their time in New York was "a means to an end." I thought about that phrase. I searched the Internet for its meaning. What I learned was that the phrase refers to something one has to do (the means) in order to achieve a certain goal (the end). This thing need not be desirable. In fact, the phrase implies that the thing to be done is not desirable at all. I did not and do not agree with that statement. I posted a statement on Facebook which stated that my time in New York is not merely a "means to an end." This is home, and I ask that anyone who joins me on life's journey be accepting of that and be as accommodating as possible.

Fortunately, their stake president, who is also a long-time advocate of staying and raising a family in New York, disagreed with the bishop, and encouraged as many of the members of that ward as possible to stay in New York.

I've been reflecting on that bishop's statement for a while, especially his use of that phrase. What is my "means to an end"?

It certainly isn't living in New York. I've established that. If I could get people to call my cell phone with a number in the 212 area code, I would! The 718 and 917 area codes are now only slightly less prestigious, but all of those are one of the signs of long-time New Yorkers. You will find less than a handful of New Yorkers who have lived in the city for more than two decades with a phone number that is not in any of these three.

It isn't that I attend activities and institute classes in Manhattan. In fact, I enjoy that. There have been times in the past where given a choice between attending an event in Queens or attending an event in Manhattan, I would choose to go to Manhattan, even if the event in Queens is closer to me.

It isn't even having to leave my stake to attend Sunday services in a YSA ward in another stake. I've befriended a lot of the people in that ward.

So what is my means to an end?

I have endured a disproportionate amount of disappointment and heartache when it comes to dating and things of that nature. I say "disproportionate" to mean that I have had too much of it. Recently, there was someone who was being flirtatious with me. She traveled out of the country, and later posted to Facebook that she has "the best boyfriend in the world."

This is not to say that I was completely surprised by this. I saw some warning signs, especially overhearing her giddy chatter with other female friends about this guy. However, the fact she was flirting with me left me wondering whether those warnings were justified, with a sliver of hope that they weren't.

I guess that's it then. That is my means to an end. I have endured much heartache and disappointment, almost to the point of saying, "It is enough; I cannot endure any more."